I am continually amazed at how my mood changes depending on the food I am eating or have just eaten.
Tonight, Indi fixed tacos. I love tacos. Granted, my version of 'tacos' is little more than a tortilla, beef, and cheese, but whatever. The point is I eat a lot of it. And now I feel miserable. The food was good, don't get me wrong; Indi is a fantastic cook. She has helped me appreciate foods I wouldn't come within a 10 yard radius otherwise. No, my problem is when I like a food, I eat too much of it.
I'm sitting on the couch, a heavy stone in my gut and a slight feeling of nausea playing at my throat. I only had two. But after ten months on the road, eating smaller portions of much healthier food...I can't do this anymore. I recall the Before Times when after every meal I felt lethargic and mentally dull. Food comas were a way of life. I just spent the last half hour going through old pictures on friends' MySpace pages and seeing what that had done to my body. And I was happy. I do not EVER want to be happy like that again.
As the time fast approaches when life tries to return to "normal" I must not let myself fall into this chasm of calories. Do I want to be ridiculous about it, entering my culinary choices into a mathematical equation @ lunchtime? No. But I do need to be more careful about what I eat, and the amounts I eat. The profound feeling of regret I hold now is enough to remind me that life is about more than a tasty meal.
2/15/10
2/12/10
Friendship
Making friends has always been something that has come fairly natural to me. I'm easygoing, flexible, and nearly always in a good mood. I interest myself in the passions of others and have often found that just simply listening is often key to maintaining relationships. I am usually the peacemaker and, even if I feel I am in the right, often back down in order to prevent fracture.
I had a conversation with a friend last night about my forthcoming re-entry into the world of the gainfully employed and the trepidation that comes with my uncertain future. She said I was one of the most well respected and well liked people she knows, and that my worries are fruitless. Which all worries are, actually, but that's not the point. The point is that my nature and outlook on life reflects positively most of the time. I truly am rich with friends.
But that's not what I want to write about. The thing that bubbles in my mind most often are those friendships and relationships that have NOT gone well. Some have mended over time; others not. When I'm alone in my mind with nothing to keep me busy, it seems I always return to these soured friendships. What went wrong? What could I have done differently? Is there any way to patch things now, even if I don't want to remain a friend? I don't like thinking I have 'enemies' out there or folks who think ill of me.
I now consider that a weakness. Why should I care if someone doesn't think I'm all wine and roses? People are different and that's life. If I dedicate myself to just making others happy, I myself won't be happy. One of the things I've gained in my travels is a greater sense of self worth and identity. I see myself approaching relationships in a different light, but not in a bad way. Just in a more assertive way. This is fine and good. I call it progress. But I do still find myself returning to the collapsed friendships of years past.
So, what's the deal? Does this mean I haven't moved on? Does this mean I'm a perfectionist and not wired to just let sleeping dogs lie? As a famous Captain said, 'As a doctor, you of all people should be aware of the dangers of reopening old wounds.'
It's just hard to forget the good times, I guess.
I had a conversation with a friend last night about my forthcoming re-entry into the world of the gainfully employed and the trepidation that comes with my uncertain future. She said I was one of the most well respected and well liked people she knows, and that my worries are fruitless. Which all worries are, actually, but that's not the point. The point is that my nature and outlook on life reflects positively most of the time. I truly am rich with friends.
But that's not what I want to write about. The thing that bubbles in my mind most often are those friendships and relationships that have NOT gone well. Some have mended over time; others not. When I'm alone in my mind with nothing to keep me busy, it seems I always return to these soured friendships. What went wrong? What could I have done differently? Is there any way to patch things now, even if I don't want to remain a friend? I don't like thinking I have 'enemies' out there or folks who think ill of me.
I now consider that a weakness. Why should I care if someone doesn't think I'm all wine and roses? People are different and that's life. If I dedicate myself to just making others happy, I myself won't be happy. One of the things I've gained in my travels is a greater sense of self worth and identity. I see myself approaching relationships in a different light, but not in a bad way. Just in a more assertive way. This is fine and good. I call it progress. But I do still find myself returning to the collapsed friendships of years past.
So, what's the deal? Does this mean I haven't moved on? Does this mean I'm a perfectionist and not wired to just let sleeping dogs lie? As a famous Captain said, 'As a doctor, you of all people should be aware of the dangers of reopening old wounds.'
It's just hard to forget the good times, I guess.
1/9/10
'Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close' by Jonathan Safran Maier
First off, thanks to my cousin Amanda for constantly recommending this book to me since it's release and to my wife for finally whacking me over the head to actually read it. You were both instrumental to my resignation to read this book. I'm ever-so-glad that you did.
This was a devastating book. It's very good, don't get me wrong; just the first of it's kind for me. The story deals with a nine year old boy who lost his father in the September 11th, 2001 attacks and his subsequent quest to unravel a mystery that he feels is the 'key' to staying close to the memories of his father. It also deals with similarities and parallels his grandparents faced during World War II.
This is the first piece of fiction I've read or seen that uses 9/11 as a backdrop. It's not tacky, it's not politicized. It's something that happened, and it changed things. For everyone. It brought back memories of those first unbelievable moments as I watched the horror unfold live on television. It reminded me of the endless walls of 'Missing' posters in New York and the outpouring of grief, sadness, and support from the rest of the nation. It also reminded me of the innocence of childhood and how an event of this magnitude must have ripped so many children from that innocence prematurely.
The passages in this book about the young boy's memories of his father tore me to pieces. Granted, I'm a sucker for Father/Son relationships in media (especially movies, like Field of Dreams or Big Fish) and I fully expected some personal emotional instability. It's the little things that reminded me of my childhood and the details of my father.
The stubble of his beard. The sound of his briefcase latches opening. My careful footsteps upstairs to bring him his coffee and tea in the morning. His Tarzan yell from the living room. Watching him practice his golf swing in the back yard. Going with him to store inventories late at night. The smell of the leather of his chair at the office. The iron grip of his handshake.
After I finished the book, I sat for a long time and considered. The book deals a lot with themes about losing loved ones; some to death, others to separation. I was reminded of the ever-popular theme in Hollywood of the "Life Changing Event" and how characters responded and become 'better' people. I thought to myself, "Why can't we appreciation people when they are STILL HERE? Where is it written that we have to learn life's lessons when it is Too Late(tm)?" Fact is, we don't have to.
It's very easy to take life for granted. My time abroad has taught me many lessons, but the ones I learned the hardest are the ones I cannot do anything about, like conversations I would like to have with my grandfathers, who have both passed on. Not to some sudden disaster or unexpected circumstance, but to long standing medical issues. I had plenty of time to grow closer to them. I failed.
I heartily recommend the book, as it has some fantastic life lessons and is written EXTREMELY well. It'll break your heart, but in a way that will get you to re-evaluate your relationships and take stock of what is important. It will also transport you to a time of uncertainty and nationwide attention, albeit through much younger eyes.
This was a devastating book. It's very good, don't get me wrong; just the first of it's kind for me. The story deals with a nine year old boy who lost his father in the September 11th, 2001 attacks and his subsequent quest to unravel a mystery that he feels is the 'key' to staying close to the memories of his father. It also deals with similarities and parallels his grandparents faced during World War II.
This is the first piece of fiction I've read or seen that uses 9/11 as a backdrop. It's not tacky, it's not politicized. It's something that happened, and it changed things. For everyone. It brought back memories of those first unbelievable moments as I watched the horror unfold live on television. It reminded me of the endless walls of 'Missing' posters in New York and the outpouring of grief, sadness, and support from the rest of the nation. It also reminded me of the innocence of childhood and how an event of this magnitude must have ripped so many children from that innocence prematurely.
The passages in this book about the young boy's memories of his father tore me to pieces. Granted, I'm a sucker for Father/Son relationships in media (especially movies, like Field of Dreams or Big Fish) and I fully expected some personal emotional instability. It's the little things that reminded me of my childhood and the details of my father.
The stubble of his beard. The sound of his briefcase latches opening. My careful footsteps upstairs to bring him his coffee and tea in the morning. His Tarzan yell from the living room. Watching him practice his golf swing in the back yard. Going with him to store inventories late at night. The smell of the leather of his chair at the office. The iron grip of his handshake.
After I finished the book, I sat for a long time and considered. The book deals a lot with themes about losing loved ones; some to death, others to separation. I was reminded of the ever-popular theme in Hollywood of the "Life Changing Event" and how characters responded and become 'better' people. I thought to myself, "Why can't we appreciation people when they are STILL HERE? Where is it written that we have to learn life's lessons when it is Too Late(tm)?" Fact is, we don't have to.
It's very easy to take life for granted. My time abroad has taught me many lessons, but the ones I learned the hardest are the ones I cannot do anything about, like conversations I would like to have with my grandfathers, who have both passed on. Not to some sudden disaster or unexpected circumstance, but to long standing medical issues. I had plenty of time to grow closer to them. I failed.
I heartily recommend the book, as it has some fantastic life lessons and is written EXTREMELY well. It'll break your heart, but in a way that will get you to re-evaluate your relationships and take stock of what is important. It will also transport you to a time of uncertainty and nationwide attention, albeit through much younger eyes.
1/4/10
Overlay?!
Did you know that Oklahoma is experiencing a rapid population growth in the East/Northeast area? So much so, in fact, that the State has been weighing options to prevent them from running out of 918 area code phone numbers. There have been two options on the table:
New Area Code: Split the 918 into two areas, one 918, one a new code. Some numbers would change.
Overlay: Newly issued numbers in the 918 area would be given a new area code, but no maps would be redrawn.
((CUE SCENE FROM SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE [1978]))
New Area Code: Split the 918 into two areas, one 918, one a new code. Some numbers would change.
Overlay: Newly issued numbers in the 918 area would be given a new area code, but no maps would be redrawn.
((CUE SCENE FROM SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE [1978]))
Lex Luthor: [pointing to a map of Oklahoma] Right now, this state has two area codes: 918 and 405. Since the state of Oklahoma has less than four million people in it, this has not been a problem. However, a certain area of the state has seen a rapid jump in population
[Whaps Otis with his pointer]
Otis: Uhhh... Northeast Oklahoma. Tulsa area.
Lex Luthor: Now, call me foolish, call me irresponsible, it occurs to me that a total exhaustion of phone numbers in a huge segment of the state, uh...
Superman: Would cause chaos and panic. No one could get a new phone number. And the ease in which we talk to one another-...
Lex Luthor: Falls into the history books. [Gives a little wave with his hand] Bye-bye, landlines. Hello, US Postal Service. But I have an idea!.
[Otis overlays map with new map]
Lex Luthor: Split the 918 area code! Some keep their old area code, some get a new one. It takes a little getting used to, but it’s organized! It makes sense! Just like the map here. I’ve written what I feel are fair boundary lines for a new area code division and, uh.. Overlay [hand-written by Otis, with backwards 'Y']... Overlay?
[Lex looks at Otis with a narrow and darkening gaze]
Otis: Other states, they went with an Overlay.
Lex Luthor: Overlay?
Otis: It’s just a small change, old people wouldn't have to learn something new.
Lex Luthor: [Angrily] OVERLAY?!
Otis: Okay, I'll just wipe it off, that's all. It's just a little town. [Erases Overlay]
Oklahoma is going with the overlay. WHAT?! This is the most ridiculous item of the day. So you are telling me, if I have a 918 number in my home, and I want a second line...it may have a DIFFERENT area code? If I have a personal cell and a work cell, they might look like they are from ENTIRELY different areas? This is preposterous.
The Oklahoma Corporation Commission decided to go this route due to the fact that people having to learn new area codes could "hurt small businesses" and cause confusion for older people. Call me crazy, but it's WAY more confusing to have the SAME geographic area with TWO different area codes, the only differentiation between the two being some invisible time line.
Oh, but they are warning people that they will start to have to use ten digit dialing. Naturally. Because if you want to call your neighbor, it's an entirely different area code...but only that neighbor, the other one has a number just like yours. It's EASY, SEE? Surely easier than just dividing the map differently and providing an easy A B C area code solution. Oh, wait, no, that's NOT easy, because some people will have to LEARN. This way the good ol' boys can do things the way they always have.
It is this kind of compromise and "we don't want to change the way things are" that REALLY puts me in Yosemite-Sam-Shoot-The-Floor mode and want to find another place to settle. This. Decision. Makes. No. Sense. Cotton-pickin' varmints!
If anyone has any way to make me see this in a better light, please...I'm all ears. And rage. Ears and rage.
11/26/09
Double Review: Laputa - Castle in the Sky and Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind
In final preparation for going to the Studio Ghibli Museum in Tokyo yesterday, I loaded my iPhone up with these two films to view in the bullet train to/from various points in Japan, hoping to get them viewed in time. And I did!
Laputa - Castle in the Sky
I'll start this off by saying this is my favorite Miyazaki so far. Yep, even better than Howl's Moving Castle. This film is also set in a steampunk universe but flows MUCH smoother than Howl's. The basic premise revolves around a girl (surprise!) with a mysterious and powerful crystal. She escapes pirates and military captors before being befriended by a young mining boy and what soon follows is a fun-tastic chase film and one that harnesses Miyazaki's environmental message quite well.
There are many characters to like/dislike in the movie and overall it gave me a bit of a 'Goonies' vibe. This is one of Miyazaki's earlier films and the vibrant colors he used were really refreshing. The kids weren't dumbed down, and the adults acted appropriately...sometimes overly so, as I audibly gasped when a henchman shot a gun at one of the kids. Whatever it takes to harness all-powerful technology, eh? I loved the last robot in the garden of Laputa, and equally enjoyed the enormous statue at the Museum.
I liked the synthesized score, the animation style, the story, the characters...really, a wonderful film that I WILL own when I get home.
Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind
This is based on a manga work that Miyazaki is involved in, and I had high expectations coming in. Would it trump Laputa as that film had trumped Howl's? Nikki had also let me know that she'd seen this film and enjoyed it...not only that, but it was one of Brad's favorites as well. Who knew? I settled in for a great film. And while it WAS great, it wasn't as good for me as Laputa was.
As most of Miyazaki's films do, this film has a strong environmental message and features a strong/central female personality. It tells the story of a long distant future, where technology increased to the point of humanity's annihilation. The few surviving rebuilt kingdoms dedicated to the Earth, but as time passed a poisonous forest threatens to strangle those who remain. Not only that, but several of the kingdoms have tried to re-harness the old buried technologies in order to achieve domination. It was a good story, and had quite the English dub cast (Capt. Jean-Luc Picard as a swordsman? Sweet!) but I felt it was REALLY similar to Princess Mononoke. Admittedly, this movie had a much clearer beginning-middle-end structure. Things actually got resolved! And I enjoyed the fate of the Giant Machine.
So, thus ends my lightning tour of Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli animation. There are a few films I missed, but I think I'll take a break for now. I am a big fan and ALL of these films would be a welcome revisit in the future.
11/15/09
Double Review: Kiki's Delivery Service / Howl's Moving Castle
Kiki's Delivery Service
Another one of Indi's favorites. I sat down prepared for a cute animated film and was not disappointed. I don't think it carried near the heft that Totoro did as far as the story is concerned, as it felt like a more traditional fish-out-of-water coming-of-age story, just in a slightly fantastical reality. It was thoroughly enjoyable, though, if nothing terrifically specially. I enjoyed the cat quite a bit. Not a lot more I can say here, though, except that I felt the adults were well written and I always relish a slightly alternate near-modern universe.
Howl's Moving Castle
This one sits at the top of the pile so far; absolutely mesmerizing! At the beginning of the movie, when the titular moving castle literally walks into the frame, I stared at the screen open mouthed. Is that really animated? It was so intricate and complex! It was so ugly, yet beautiful. Once the world started to materialize and I was introduced to characters, I was immediately drawn in. Steampunk for the win!
It became obvious to be here that Miyazaki prefers female leads. Sophie is a fine addition to the roster but oh man. She is cursed early on in the film into being an old woman. It was inexplicably SHATTERINGLY SAD to me and I had to laugh at verbal tics and mannerisms of the Old Sophie in order to not cry. She was not just like, 'WTF I'm old!' it was like she woke up and had GROWN old, i.e. her mind worked like an old person, she had the ailments and seeming familiarity one would have if they'd lived a much longer life...as if she'd woken up from a dream in which she had been young. And mid-way through the movie, when she storms out of the castle...I can't handle old folks crying. It's too much!
Howl is dubbed by Christian Bale, while his fire demon companion is dubbed by the brilliant Billy Crystal. It definitely helped the film for my ears and endeared me to the characters instantly. The story arc of maturity, patience, and endurance were well done. My favorite character, by FAR, is the scarecrow Turnip Head. Much like Wall-E, he says a lot without saying anything at all.
Another one of Indi's favorites. I sat down prepared for a cute animated film and was not disappointed. I don't think it carried near the heft that Totoro did as far as the story is concerned, as it felt like a more traditional fish-out-of-water coming-of-age story, just in a slightly fantastical reality. It was thoroughly enjoyable, though, if nothing terrifically specially. I enjoyed the cat quite a bit. Not a lot more I can say here, though, except that I felt the adults were well written and I always relish a slightly alternate near-modern universe.
Howl's Moving Castle
This one sits at the top of the pile so far; absolutely mesmerizing! At the beginning of the movie, when the titular moving castle literally walks into the frame, I stared at the screen open mouthed. Is that really animated? It was so intricate and complex! It was so ugly, yet beautiful. Once the world started to materialize and I was introduced to characters, I was immediately drawn in. Steampunk for the win!
Howl is dubbed by Christian Bale, while his fire demon companion is dubbed by the brilliant Billy Crystal. It definitely helped the film for my ears and endeared me to the characters instantly. The story arc of maturity, patience, and endurance were well done. My favorite character, by FAR, is the scarecrow Turnip Head. Much like Wall-E, he says a lot without saying anything at all.
10/4/09
RAW is WAR
I've discovered something interesting in Cambodia. There is a channel dedicated to professional wrestling. At first, I thought it was a sponsored WWE channel, but after a few disjointed cuts between episodes, I realized it's a guy with a recorded-from-TV DVD collection that would make my brother jealous. I know this because occasionally the channel changes to a DVD manufacturer screen saver with a 'stop' icon in the corner, followed by 'play' and more WWE action. Some of the episodes are of questionable quality up-to-and-including DVD artifacting. It's hilarious.
24 hours a day, this channel broadcasts random episodes of RAW and Smackdown in one hour increments...it's frustrating to watch the first half of a RAW only to have it rudely interrupted by some other random first-or-second half of RAW or Smackdown. I've seen matches as far back as 2002 and as recent as a few weeks ago. I just listened to Stephanie McMahon (not Helmsley) berate Stone Cold for stunning her whole family on RAW after seeing Jeff Hardy defend his championship against CM Punk on Smackdown.
Given such a snapshot of weekly wrestling history, I've realized several things.
1. I may never stop enjoying professional wrestling.
2. WWE has produced some really terrible shows over the years.
3. The current WWE product is rather amazing.
I don't know who all out there still watches on a regular or semi-regular basis, but I haven't watched for years. I was extremely surprised to see that Jeff Hardy held the World Heavyweight Championship, and he seems to defend it regularly and competes well. There is a host of new names on both rosters and everyone has put together some really fantastic matches, some of even PPV quality. There seems to be a greater focus on in-ring psychology and clean finishes and I haven't seen any scuzzy ratings-grab type storylines or gimmicks. It has just been quality sports entertainment.
Last night this channel pulled a dirty trick: it aired the first half of the Eddie Guererro tribute RAW episode. Brought back many memories. Also, it was REALLY WEIRD to see Chris Benoit wrestling. For those who don't know, this is a guy that later killed his wife, kids, and himself at his home. I don't quite know how to feel about it. On one hand, this guy is a murderer and a coward for offing himself afterwards. But it was in the future and from all accounts he was a decent guy before this roid rage thing happened; is it wrong for me to appreciate his wrestling ability before this incident occurred?
24 hours a day, this channel broadcasts random episodes of RAW and Smackdown in one hour increments...it's frustrating to watch the first half of a RAW only to have it rudely interrupted by some other random first-or-second half of RAW or Smackdown. I've seen matches as far back as 2002 and as recent as a few weeks ago. I just listened to Stephanie McMahon (not Helmsley) berate Stone Cold for stunning her whole family on RAW after seeing Jeff Hardy defend his championship against CM Punk on Smackdown.
Given such a snapshot of weekly wrestling history, I've realized several things.
1. I may never stop enjoying professional wrestling.
2. WWE has produced some really terrible shows over the years.
3. The current WWE product is rather amazing.
I don't know who all out there still watches on a regular or semi-regular basis, but I haven't watched for years. I was extremely surprised to see that Jeff Hardy held the World Heavyweight Championship, and he seems to defend it regularly and competes well. There is a host of new names on both rosters and everyone has put together some really fantastic matches, some of even PPV quality. There seems to be a greater focus on in-ring psychology and clean finishes and I haven't seen any scuzzy ratings-grab type storylines or gimmicks. It has just been quality sports entertainment.
Last night this channel pulled a dirty trick: it aired the first half of the Eddie Guererro tribute RAW episode. Brought back many memories. Also, it was REALLY WEIRD to see Chris Benoit wrestling. For those who don't know, this is a guy that later killed his wife, kids, and himself at his home. I don't quite know how to feel about it. On one hand, this guy is a murderer and a coward for offing himself afterwards. But it was in the future and from all accounts he was a decent guy before this roid rage thing happened; is it wrong for me to appreciate his wrestling ability before this incident occurred?
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