Throughout the majority of my adult life, I've been known for my patience and easy-going demeanor.  I smile easily and often and am always happy to talk to my friends.  I listen when people have problems and offer advice if it is needed.  I have noticed in the last few months that I am having more moments when I lose my cool...never in front of anybody, but I lose it nonetheless.

I'll be in the car and get stuck behind a slow person.  I submit for time off and get denied due to a system error.  I get a food order that has something wrong.  A call I make doesn't get returned.  These things didn't bother me much, but for some reason now I just get angry.  I'm not talking frowny-face and grumble angry.  If I'm in the car, I yell at the top of my lungs.  I get SO IRRATIONALLY ANGRY and upset.  Sometimes I feel like crying.  What has happened to me?

I swear a lot more.  I take things personally.  I'll get sad.  Sometimes I just scream.  But never at anyone, or with anyone.  Always by myself.  It's like my fuse, which was once plentiful, has grown painfully short.  And it's not all the time.  I just get set off and feel like my entire world is collapsing.  I don't want pity, or feel like the world owes me something.  It just happens so quickly and is not a reaction I am accustomed to dealing with.



One thing I’ve noticed since being home is my tendency to be tired more often. At first I likened it to ‘having’ to be awake via an alarm rather than just waking up on my own…and I do think that has SOMETHING to do with it…but as I examine how my life has changed and what my daily routine looks like, I know there is more to it.

I am working an 8-5 schedule right now. Getting up at 6:00 AM has never come naturally to me, and it probably never will. I drink coffee all day at work (I loves it so) and I’m sure the lack of caffeine in my system by the time I wake up drags me down. My diet has gotten worse, and although it’s not where it was when I left last year…it’s definitely not where it was when I first got home, either. I am not exercising at all, not even taking walks in the evening. You have to spend energy to have energy, right?

My lethargy and daily morning disappointment in life in general has to be coming from these things. My daily grind has to be altered; I’m setting myself up for failure out of convenience and habit. There’s a walking path RIGHT HERE NEXT TO THE OFFICE that I’ve never truly used. I can bring shorts/tank in a backpack daily so I don’t get my normal clothes all terrible. I can stop drinking coffee (at least cut myself off, not drink 4-5 cups a day) and substitute it with some good ol’ WATER. I can stop eating such heavy foods and re-focus my efforts on controlling my portion sizes. I also gotta stop eating so FAST.

I live in a great part of town now. I can walk to many places, but still I hop in the truck. STOP. Go for a walk. Take your camera. Enjoy things instead of passing by them in a hurry to accomplish your tasks. Be patient with your time. Force yourself up early enough to take a stroll before preparing for work, that way it’s not a race.


Back to the Future Timeline

Alright, I’m tired of this. Someone(s) on the internet is wrong!

There’s an online twitter/Facebook/Blog broadcast going out that yesterday was the day that Marty traveled into the future. It’s totally inaccurate. In BTTF II, Marty Doc and Jennifer traveled to Oct 21st, 2015 in order to prevent Marty’s son from getting in deep with Griff and his goons in some kind of bank robbery scheme. There’s no question; they even show the time circuits. The confusion has to be coming from a single place in the first film.

Before Doc is shot by Libyans, he mentions going “25 years into the future”. The date that early morning (in the parking lot of the Twin Pines Mall) was October 26th. If he meant PRECISELY 25 years, it would be Oct 26 2010. Not any time in July. He never mentions a specific date, and at the end of the film he answers Marty’s question of “How far are you going?” with “about thirty years.” I doubt he has an exact date in mind.

The confusion must be coming from the movie’s release date. BTTF I was released on July 3, 1985. Twenty-five years later would be July 3, 2010. But that doesn’t jive either, because this whole “MARTY TRAVELED TO TODAY LOL” movement was on the 6th. It just doesn’t fit into ANYTHING.