I walked into a courtroom for the second time this year and talked to a judge about a recent loss. After six years, four months, and eight days of marriage it's officially and legally done for. Yeah, it's been coming for a long time and has essentially been over since November...but getting the documents signed and filed means it's truly over and done with. I have looked inwards and discovered a strange sense of uncertainty.
Not about myself. I feel more sure of myself now than I ever have in my life. But I've been dealing with death and divorce for so long there will truly be a gap that I'm not used to having. My hope is to recharge the ol' emotional Duracell's and return to a place of understanding and stability. I no longer have to organize and plan around the legal system and that's definitely going to be a de-stresser. The last of the related bills are paid or scheduled in a way that I shouldn't have any additional craziness over and above the typical day-to-day random expenditures that crop up.
I've done all this and maintained relationships with my friends. Thank you all for sticking with me during these ups and downs. It's not over, but the worst has definitely passed. I've started exercising regularly and feel good about it. I am doing well at my job and am seeing some doors open thanks to my hard work. I feel cared for and know that I have a network of people to lean on when the night is unfriendly.
Time to move forward.