I've found myself in a pretty standard routine as of late...and there's some comfort in that. I get up in the mornings, have my coffee. Check Facebook, the news, and a few other sites I keep up with. Maybe put on some music. It's a nice start to the day. It's at my own pace. At some point, I start getting ready for work. At about 1:00, I head to work to prep for my day. Work has also settled into a bit of a routine, for the most part. I am comfortable there and feel that, overall, I do a good job. I'm thankful for those constants in my life.
I have successfully navigated my first holiday season AD. The real test comes in a few weeks, when the one year anniversary of Dad's death hits. It's really unbelievable that it's been that long. Time is a funny thing, as I'm sure everyone knows. I find myself drifting in thought, losing focus and meandering through memory. I hope it doesn't get any worse as the day approaches, but I know it probably will. I took the 18th off, just in case. I don't want to show up at work and break down. I wonder what it is about anniversaries that has such an impact.
I have my mother and brother. I have my friends. I have people in my life that are so tremendously special to me. I know I have avenues should I feel like reaching out. My problem, as it always has been, is the actual reaching. I feel like folks don't really need me knocking on their door and dropping my repetitive problems at their feet. As I've mentioned before, sometimes people just asking how I am changes the answer. I look to those closest to me to check in and make sure I'm not siloing myself. That would be bad.
Anyway, it's about that time. Work time. Busy time. Good time. I hope everyone had a fantastic New Year's and the coming 365 treat you better than the last 365.