I eat out.  A lot.  I eat out every day for lunch, and once in awhile I'll eat out before work or after.  I have been feeling it lately, and not just in the way my clothes fit me; I've been getting increasingly sick of fast food.  It's the same thing, over and over again.  I've tried halving my portions.  I've tried cutting out sides entirely.  Nothing sticks; it's an addiction.

I went though my closet today and tried on all my t-shirts.  I folded and stored seven of about 15 because they fit me too snugly around the middle.  I don't want to look like a pear on legs.  But that doesn't fix anything.  Eating better and getting some for-real exercise will.  My neighbor, Amanda, has been pestering me (in a good way) to start running again.  Laziness is my biggest enemy, on all fronts.

I fixed a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner.  It's the first time I've fixed one in YEARS.  I simply didn't want to be bothered.  A good friend suggested using Pam cooking spray on the griddle side (THANK YOU!) and it was fantastic.  Easy, tasty, and loads better than dropping by Braum's or Whataburger.  Add in a side of chips (put on a plate, not out of the bag) and it was a suitable meal.  Not just me mindlessly eating because it's there in front of me.  The next goal is figuring out a steady way to eat during the work week.  Then comes... vegetables.  And actually healthy meals.  Just because dinner tonight was better than what I've been eating doesn't mean it will continue to be counted as a success.

I want to be able to wear those clothes again.  I see pictures of myself before I left the country and know I'm halfway there from my returning weight.  I can't do that.  Not again.

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