It's been a while since I've written. I have felt the dull tendrils of grief slowly rising and wrapping around me, preparing me for an inevitable night of catharsis. Until then, it seems little things set me off and put me into sad type moods. It hasn't been anything overwhelming, just slight tugs at my normally constant smile. It's not like things have been blah. Far from it, actually.
It's hard to believe that we're already about a week into November. I predict the next few months will be difficult to navigate, emotionally. Just one year ago Indi and I split for good. December 7 will be one year since my grandmother passed, and of course January is the big one. The holiday season, and winter in general, is traditionally worse on depression and that kind of thing. As I noticed the leaves changing and grass going dormant, I was reminded of the many trips I took to Pawhuska last winter to settle Dad's estate. Highway 11 holds many pleasant memories of going to Grandma's house and visiting family, but now it also holds the memories of funerals and lawyers. Such is life.
How strange is it that my brother is moving into a house with his fiance? When did that kid grow up? I think it's a ruse.