4/4/08

Filling the Well

My good friend Tony is amazing with analogies. He helps me out in times of trouble.

Recently I've been having problems with my faith. I've been unable to defend positions and answer questions in a meaningful way and have realized that I fell off the Christian horse a long time ago. Not on purpose, per se, but gradually. Casually.

After being unable to properly express my religious beliefs I was angry at myself, at God. I was talking to Tony about my crossroads and he asked if I'd ever been dehydrated. If one is dehydrated and is sitting inside in the A/C you don't tend to notice it. If you go out and work in the yard, you break down real quick. I've been spending a lot of my spiritual time lately inside in the A/C and when someone wants me to come out and play I fall on my face. I originally took this as a sign that perhaps my faith was misdirected but I cannot fault God for my shortcomings. I cannot expect a good defense when I haven't been tending it. You can't draw water from an empty well.

If I get back into a strong relationship with God and still feel this way, then that's something else entirely. But it's not fair to give up on Him because I haven't communicated and expect to be just as good.

He's not far away. He has not moved. And, really, neither have I. He is standing right next to me. All I have to do is look over and He is there.
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